he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
