Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
