i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Who died my cat blue again?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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