but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Just high enough for therapy.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
