There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize
