If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Randomize
