I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
