I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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