I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
