also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
