Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
and she was petting her beer can
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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