Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
