it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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