sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
