it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
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