Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
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