hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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