We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
