in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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