Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
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Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
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We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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