are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
