When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
