More tranny stories later!
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
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My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
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I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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