Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
