Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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