so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
