so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
