I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
