I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i dont even know how to be here
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Ladies don't puke and tell
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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