Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
