I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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