Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
