In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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