She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
