Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
