Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
