She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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