We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
