i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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