Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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