SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
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