Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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