Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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