I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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