i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
