no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
