oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
