But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
