We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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