I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
