there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
