Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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