I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
