Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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