This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
