ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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