You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
