Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
