What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
