O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
