Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize