Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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