never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
