thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
