Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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