Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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