I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
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