wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
