He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Found the puke drawer
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
