But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
