found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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